Holidays can be a difficult time for families after separation or divorce. Special traditions your family enjoyed for years may suddenly change. In particular, agreeing on how to divide child custody over the holidays is often a source of conflict between parents. Unfortunately, there’s probably no simple solution that will seem fair to everyone, but there are some common custody arrangements to consider.
First Steps
The first step is to define which holidays and special occasions will be included in the schedule. Don’t forget to add birthdays, school breaks, and federally recognized dates, like Independence Day. From there you can customize a custody arrangement. You may also wish to clarify the start and end times for these days. The more specific the terms of your agreement are now, the less likely there will be resentment or misunderstandings in the future. Additionally, it’s a good idea to put everything in writing, so there’s a document to refer to if disagreements arise. Here are three options for custody over the holidays.
Split Holidays
When parents live nearby it’s possible to share important days, so children spend time with each parent. You may choose to either split the day, or one parent might have the children Christmas Eve, while the other sees them on Christmas Day.
Alternating Holidays
One of the more common ways to split custody during the holidays is to alternate every other year. So, if a parent has the children for Easter and Christmas one year, the following year they might have them on Thanksgiving and New Year’s. The details can be negotiated.
Fixed Holidays
Fixed holidays are convenient for parents who value different occasions. For example, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. Or, if a couple had an interfaith marriage, it might be easier for them to permanently divvy up religious celebrations.
Double Holidays
There are times when it might make the most sense to celebrate a holiday twice, regardless of how the calendar dates line up. For instance, a child can have a birthday party with each parent, even if it’s not until the next scheduled visit.
Once you agree on a broad outline for custody over the holidays, stipulations can be added to address minor details, such as who will drop off and pick up the children. Try to anticipate what might become an issue, so it can be ironed out now. Everyone will be happier if there’s a clear schedule to follow, and the holidays can be enjoyed without conflict. This might also be a time to consider some new traditions with your children.
Should you have questions about your visitation or custody issues, schedule a free consultation with one of our family law attorneys at Whipple, Mercado & Associates.