Child Visitation and Holiday Celebrations

by | Oct 20, 2021 | Custody

Unfortunately, child custody issues are common for divorced parents during the holidays. The sad reality is that many people spend less time with their children after a divorce, as the days are often divided between locations. These separations may be felt the most deeply during the holiday season. It’s understandable if both parents want custody of their kids to celebrate special family traditions, but this brings up child custody issues that can be hard to work through, especially if communication is already strained. The thought of missing out on these times together can ignite strong emotions that are difficult for both parents, and their children, to manage. 

So what happens if your spouse makes scheduling demands, or you just can’t seem to reach a compromise that feels fair to both of you? Keep reading for a quick overview on how to handle these types of child custody issues so they don’t ruin your holidays. 

3 Tips For Co-parents with Child Custody Issues

1) Acknowledge Change

To begin with, change can be tough for anyone, but especially kids. It might help to simply acknowledge that the holidays will be a little different from now on. It’s not uncommon for children to act out or feel sad that their parents are no longer together. One of the most important things is to make sure that your children feel secure after so much upheaval. This is also something most parents can agree on, so it’s a good place to start. 

2) Create a Plan

It’s ideal if your child custody agreement is in writing and contains a clear holiday schedule. But if there isn’t currently a written agreement in place and you’re struggling, one option is to try family mediation services. Meeting with a skilled mediator can help you work out an arrangement by cutting through all the back and forth arguments. 

A mediator may be able to help you find fair alternatives that you hadn’t previously considered, and make communication with your ex more constructive. The goal is to find a solution that works for everyone involved, while minimizing feelings of loss and disappointment. 

3) Start New Traditions

It’s also okay to create new family traditions at any time. After all, there’s no set rule that we have to continue doing things in the exact same way, year after year. It can help to look at this time of change as an opportunity to explore celebrating in new ways. Kids are wonderful at coming up with ideas and fun activities. With a little creativity, you might find that you can start traditions of your own that are just as meaningful. 

Child Custody Issues

Many emotions are tied to our fondest memories of family gatherings and festive occasions. It’s natural for divorced parents who share children to struggle with child custody issues, falling into a cycle of blame and resentment. If there’s no written agreement in place that regulates your schedule, then determining who gets holiday custody can become a hostile tug-of-war, with children in the middle. If you need help, reach out to us at Whipple, Mercado & Associates. We’re here for you. Schedule a free consultation online now, or just give us a call today at (925) 344-5050.

Tammy J. Mercado

Tammy J. Mercado has a passion for helping her clients achieve their desired results. She listens and she personally and promptly responds to your texts, emails and phone calls. She offers real solutions to your legal matters. Tammy will carefully evaluate the legal issues in your case, provide you with sound advice and offer you the pros and cons of each possible scenario so you can meet your legal objectives. She encourages clients to participate in their own matters. Tammy believes that client participation is key to a positive result and to keeping attorney fees as low as possible. You can be sure that she will offer you straightforward, sound and honest advice in a professional manner, with integrity and excellence.

Before opening her own law practice, Tammy worked for many high-volume law firms. This gave her extensive, diversified experience in hundreds of complex family law cases as well as civil matters. She is admitted to practice law before all courts in California and the United States District Court for the Northern District of California. She is also a member of the American Bar Association, the Contra Costa Bar Association, the Alameda County Bar Association and the Bar Association of San Francisco. Tammy is also a member of the Rotary Club of Danville.

Tammy is a graduate of John F. Kennedy School of Law and holds a Bachelor of Science in business management from the University of Phoenix. Tammy is also a licensed real estate broker, which comes in handy for valuing property in family law cases as well as real estate matters in the civil arena.

During her off time, Tammy is an avid sailor who crews and races on various boats in the San Francisco Bay. Tammy approaches each case as she would any yacht race: by assessing the other’s strengths, weaknesses, experience, equipment, history and reputation. She is a member of the American Sailing Association, and she is a certified Coast Guard Auxiliary member.

HONORS AND AWARDS
Tammy was selected to receive the prestigious “Business Person of the Year” Award in 2017 for the San Ramon Chamber of Commerce.

Tammy is currently serving as Danville Rotary President for 2017 through 2019.

Mary C. Whipple, CFLS

Mary C. Whipple opened her first law practice in the summer of 2008. She previously was an associate attorney at the Law Office of Cummins & Holmes, a full-service civil litigation law firm in San Ramon. The majority of her experience is in family law, which includes divorce, custody, support, prenuptial agreements and domestic-violence restraining orders. Certified by the California State Bar’s Board of Legal Specialization, she is a specialist in the area of family law. Mary has also represented clients in a variety of non-family-law cases, including juvenile dependency, probate, breach of contract and employment disputes, to name a few.

Mary also previously worked as a contract attorney for O’Melveny & Meyers in San Francisco while simultaneously volunteering at the Bar Association of San Francisco’s Volunteer Legal Services Program, representing defendants in unlawful detainer actions. The program acknowledged Mary with an Outstanding Volunteer in Public Service Award in 2006 for her efforts in providing access to justice.

A seventh-generation Californian, Mary is a graduate of Loyola University Chicago School of Law. She earned her Bachelor of Science in criminology at Southern Oregon University in Ashland, Oregon. She is a member of the State Bar of California, the Alameda County Bar Association, and the Contra Costa County Bar Association.

In addition, Mary is active in her community as a member of the Ambassador’s Committee for the San Ramon Chamber of Commerce; a volunteer at the Contra Costa County and Alameda County Superior Courts, where she assists self-represented litigants in completing their divorces; and a member of Divorce Angel, where she provides information regarding family law matters to members of the community. Since 2007 she has been a volunteer judge for Alameda and Contra Costa County’s Annual High School Moot Court Competition. She is also a member of the Danville/Sycamore Valley Rotary Club. She was awarded the San Ramon Chamber of Commerce 2012 Business Person of the Year; and a graduate of the 2012 class of Leadership San Ramon Valley.

CERTIFIED LEGAL SPECIALTIES
Certified Specialist in Family Law by the State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization