Unfortunately, child custody issues are common for divorced parents during the holidays. The sad reality is that many people spend less time with their children after a divorce, as the days are often divided between locations. These separations may be felt the most deeply during the holiday season. It’s understandable if both parents want custody of their kids to celebrate special family traditions, but this brings up child custody issues that can be hard to work through, especially if communication is already strained. The thought of missing out on these times together can ignite strong emotions that are difficult for both parents, and their children, to manage.
So what happens if your spouse makes scheduling demands, or you just can’t seem to reach a compromise that feels fair to both of you? Keep reading for a quick overview on how to handle these types of child custody issues so they don’t ruin your holidays.
3 Tips For Co-parents with Child Custody Issues
1) Acknowledge Change
To begin with, change can be tough for anyone, but especially kids. It might help to simply acknowledge that the holidays will be a little different from now on. It’s not uncommon for children to act out or feel sad that their parents are no longer together. One of the most important things is to make sure that your children feel secure after so much upheaval. This is also something most parents can agree on, so it’s a good place to start.
2) Create a Plan
It’s ideal if your child custody agreement is in writing and contains a clear holiday schedule. But if there isn’t currently a written agreement in place and you’re struggling, one option is to try family mediation services. Meeting with a skilled mediator can help you work out an arrangement by cutting through all the back and forth arguments.
A mediator may be able to help you find fair alternatives that you hadn’t previously considered, and make communication with your ex more constructive. The goal is to find a solution that works for everyone involved, while minimizing feelings of loss and disappointment.
3) Start New Traditions
It’s also okay to create new family traditions at any time. After all, there’s no set rule that we have to continue doing things in the exact same way, year after year. It can help to look at this time of change as an opportunity to explore celebrating in new ways. Kids are wonderful at coming up with ideas and fun activities. With a little creativity, you might find that you can start traditions of your own that are just as meaningful.
Child Custody Issues
Many emotions are tied to our fondest memories of family gatherings and festive occasions. It’s natural for divorced parents who share children to struggle with child custody issues, falling into a cycle of blame and resentment. If there’s no written agreement in place that regulates your schedule, then determining who gets holiday custody can become a hostile tug-of-war, with children in the middle. If you need help, reach out to us at Whipple, Mercado & Associates. We’re here for you. Schedule a free consultation online now, or just give us a call today at (925) 344-5050.