Nearly half of all marriages that take place in the United States don’t work out. As common as it is, there’s still no easy way to end a marriage, but if you’re sure it’s over, these ten tips can help you prepare for divorce.
1. Take your time
Sometimes emotions cloud our judgment and prevent us from acting in our own best interest. Unless you’re in an abusive situation, it’s okay to take your time as you prepare for divorce. You’re making emotional and financial decisions you’ll have to live with. There’s no need to rush.
2. Get clear on the legal process
Rules vary by jurisdiction, which will influence how you prepare for divorce. However, understanding the basic process will help you make educated choices, so you can avoid unnecessary regret.
3. Organize important documents
Now is the time to document all debts and assets. Make copies of relevant forms, such as pay stubs, bank statements, and tax returns. Consider keeping a record of these financial documents in a safe deposit box.
4. Protect your access to finances
Open a separate bank account, if you don’t already have one. In order to prepare for divorce, you need to understand your joint finances and have a financial plan for your future.
5. Put your kids first
If you’re concerned about a possible custody dispute, begin to keep a diary regarding the care of your children. Take note of who attends school functions, medical appointments, and extracurricular activities. It can be difficult to remember these details when you’re in the middle of an emotional conflict.
6. Explore your options
Not every failed marriage needs to end in court. There are other options, such as mediation, or collaborative divorce.
7. Put together your team
Don’t try to go it alone. You need a legal and emotional support system. Consider meeting with not only an attorney, but also a therapist and financial planner.
8. What do you want?
Have a clear picture of what you want, but leave room to negotiate. For example, maybe you’d prefer to stay in the house, but can you realistically afford the mortgage and upkeep?
9. Treat negations like a business transaction
Unfortunately, whatever communication issues you faced during your marriage will most likely be amplified during a divorce. Know that your emotions are valid, but remember it’s more powerful and productive to act from a calm state. Of course, this is easier said than done.
10. Focus on the big picture
Divorce doesn’t last forever, although at times it may feel that way. Try to focus on the big picture. Let go of everything that doesn’t matter, so you have room to imagine a new future.
If you need legal advice as you prepare for divorce, please contact us at Whipple and Mercado.