How To Ruin Your Relationship With Your Divorce Attorney

by | Feb 28, 2020 | Divorce

Divorce makes everyone edgy. Attorneys who practice in this area of the law are counseled by their mentors and peers: find a good psycho-therapist for your clients and one for yourself.

Highly emotional issues swamp the divorce scenario: it’s not simply a matter of assets, it’s a matter of valuables, not the least of which are the best interests of the children. Young or old, the kids are unwitting witnesses to the horrors of splitting a family up between the adults. Parents often have great difficulty keeping emotions under control. Children observe and absorb this. It is common knowledge that children of divorced parents learn to parrot to whomever has custody at the time not what they want/need, but what that parent wants to hear.

The Courts are keen to this.

About the worst thing you can be for any person trying their best to represent your interests is to assume that yours is the only case in the office. Dropping in unannounced or expecting an immediate appointment puts stressors on the organization as a whole, not just the attorney.

Sometimes, parties get anxious about taking the first step, or signing on the dotted line. The way your attorney handles signing you up as a client and preparing your papers is their way of keeping in check the variables affecting your case. Often, that process is compounded with a true emergency and offices are accustomed to dealing with a real crisis from time to time. When you characterize every aspect of your case as a “true emergency” requiring immediate attention and dropping all other matters, you wear out your welcome quickly. Crying “WOLF” all the time will put you in the same predicament as the boy in Aesop’s fable: not to be believed and in trouble without support.

There are strict rules attorneys are bound to follow with respect to communicating with clients. The file belongs to you, the client and the attorney is required to keep you apprised of everything that happens in your case.

Where relationships break down is over small things: needless, repetitive syntax changes to simple documents that have strict filing deadlines; filing (or serving) papers with just minutes to spare, untimely, or not at all. The most skilled among us still need time to prepare and evaluate issues, brief and argue them before the Court. That is what you are paying for. Dropping in to dictate flourishes on your brief will not endear you to the person behind the desk who took the trouble, after many secretarial jobs, to get the JD and pass the Bar. Creative license aside, if you want to write the briefs, by all means do so, but do not expect your counsel to sign his or her name to your version of events.

The same goes for that bastion of evidence you have to back up your claims: Hand it over first thing. Not being able to “find” it the night before the hearing is no excuse. The credibility of your side of the case depends on following through. Compromise your integrity one time too many and it is lost forever. Some judges are like elephants: they never forget.

Perhaps the best advice to clients about how to get the most out of their representation is to consider their divorce attorney like they would their favorite surgeon: it’s best not to insult the one holding the scalpel. We most certainly want to hear if you’re in pain. We just don’t want to sort through all of your emotional baggage in the process.

The best thing you can do when represented is to be the kind of client you would want if you were the attorney.

Tammy J. Mercado

Tammy J. Mercado has a passion for helping her clients achieve their desired results. She listens and she personally and promptly responds to your texts, emails and phone calls. She offers real solutions to your legal matters. Tammy will carefully evaluate the legal issues in your case, provide you with sound advice and offer you the pros and cons of each possible scenario so you can meet your legal objectives. She encourages clients to participate in their own matters. Tammy believes that client participation is key to a positive result and to keeping attorney fees as low as possible. You can be sure that she will offer you straightforward, sound and honest advice in a professional manner, with integrity and excellence.

Before opening her own law practice, Tammy worked for many high-volume law firms. This gave her extensive, diversified experience in hundreds of complex family law cases as well as civil matters. She is admitted to practice law before all courts in California and the United States District Court for the Northern District of California. She is also a member of the American Bar Association, the Contra Costa Bar Association, the Alameda County Bar Association and the Bar Association of San Francisco. Tammy is also a member of the Rotary Club of Danville.

Tammy is a graduate of John F. Kennedy School of Law and holds a Bachelor of Science in business management from the University of Phoenix. Tammy is also a licensed real estate broker, which comes in handy for valuing property in family law cases as well as real estate matters in the civil arena.

During her off time, Tammy is an avid sailor who crews and races on various boats in the San Francisco Bay. Tammy approaches each case as she would any yacht race: by assessing the other’s strengths, weaknesses, experience, equipment, history and reputation. She is a member of the American Sailing Association, and she is a certified Coast Guard Auxiliary member.

HONORS AND AWARDS
Tammy was selected to receive the prestigious “Business Person of the Year” Award in 2017 for the San Ramon Chamber of Commerce.

Tammy is currently serving as Danville Rotary President for 2017 through 2019.

Mary C. Whipple, CFLS

Mary C. Whipple opened her first law practice in the summer of 2008. She previously was an associate attorney at the Law Office of Cummins & Holmes, a full-service civil litigation law firm in San Ramon. The majority of her experience is in family law, which includes divorce, custody, support, prenuptial agreements and domestic-violence restraining orders. Certified by the California State Bar’s Board of Legal Specialization, she is a specialist in the area of family law. Mary has also represented clients in a variety of non-family-law cases, including juvenile dependency, probate, breach of contract and employment disputes, to name a few.

Mary also previously worked as a contract attorney for O’Melveny & Meyers in San Francisco while simultaneously volunteering at the Bar Association of San Francisco’s Volunteer Legal Services Program, representing defendants in unlawful detainer actions. The program acknowledged Mary with an Outstanding Volunteer in Public Service Award in 2006 for her efforts in providing access to justice.

A seventh-generation Californian, Mary is a graduate of Loyola University Chicago School of Law. She earned her Bachelor of Science in criminology at Southern Oregon University in Ashland, Oregon. She is a member of the State Bar of California, the Alameda County Bar Association, and the Contra Costa County Bar Association.

In addition, Mary is active in her community as a member of the Ambassador’s Committee for the San Ramon Chamber of Commerce; a volunteer at the Contra Costa County and Alameda County Superior Courts, where she assists self-represented litigants in completing their divorces; and a member of Divorce Angel, where she provides information regarding family law matters to members of the community. Since 2007 she has been a volunteer judge for Alameda and Contra Costa County’s Annual High School Moot Court Competition. She is also a member of the Danville/Sycamore Valley Rotary Club. She was awarded the San Ramon Chamber of Commerce 2012 Business Person of the Year; and a graduate of the 2012 class of Leadership San Ramon Valley.

CERTIFIED LEGAL SPECIALTIES
Certified Specialist in Family Law by the State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization